Monday, 10 December 2007

The Dog Ate My Blog Post

As this is the first full weekend off after NaNoWriMo I thought I would be hella full of energy and ideas and my writing muscles in my brain would be so bulgy that I would churn out a teetering stack of blog posts that I could release at whim over the course of many weeks.
Unfortunately given several factors this did not happen.

First of all my weekend was hijacked by malevolent elves. Well OK, they weren't actual elves.
One of them does look like an evil version of Jesus though and Jesus hung out with a bunch of guys kinda like Santa and... look one of the factors is that I didn't get a lot of sleep.
Let me start again.

Weekend. Hijacked.

What with cancelled trains, late nights, too much booze, demanding friends who have unrealistic expectations of the amount of hours in a day and my ability to travel from one place to another faster than the speed of light I seem to have spent most of this weekend turning up to things just in time or just in time to be asked why I didn't turn up earlier.

Without the power of sleep I have been unable to come up with any rejoinders wittier than 'so's your face'.
Without the power of wit all the conversations I've had have been ridiculously boring.
I tried to remedy these two problems with the power of alcohol which unfortunately just made me sleepier and my rejoinders slipped down the class scale to involve such zingers as 'your mum was [insert other person's previous statement here]'.

I've only been home long enough to have a couple of showers and get enough sleep that I didn't actually pass out at any point.
I've got nothing done, had no real meals and am getting major guilt trips from the cats and the dog who are going to great lengths to point out to me how abandoned and starved for affection they are. This has been conveyed via the mediums of poop, shedding and piteous noises of an almost Geneva Convention breaching magnitude.

No part of the weekend was actually bad per se but they were all jammed together so closely that I have had no time to myself and am going to roll into work tomorrow feeling tired, cranky and wondering if I somehow hallucinated the weekend altogether.

I know that this rambling bitching about nonspecific events doesn't constitute much of a blog post.
I also know that this is basically me making excuses to myself about not getting anything written during the week let alone over the weekend which is pretty weak.
But despite all the things that kept me from doing anything this weekend, none of them were actually significant enough to stick in my memory which is a little depressing.
The most memorable part of my whole weekend was this dream I had about a time travelling bumble bee man who changed the universe so that everyone I know was working at a giant hairdressing salon... but it doesn't get any more lucid as it progresses and I know that there are few things as uninteresting as other people's dreams.

Except the one I had where Batman was rappelling down the inside the chimney of a mansion wearing a santa hat as a disguise so that the gremlins who were living there would think he was Santa and... *coff coff*

Anyhoo by next weekend my energy levels should be back up, I should have actually produced some actual material, and I will be politely but firmly telling anyone who wants me to go anywhere or do anything to go do something of a fairly unpleasant and probably anatomically uncomfortable nature. Because if you can't occasionally tell your friends to go swivel then are they really your friends?
In the meantime I'd better go grab some sleep so I don't start trying to tell that bumble bee story at a meeting at work...

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