A handful of weeks ago I went on a medical appointment extravaganza like a hypochondriac at Christmas.
The physio appointment went well; the doctor gave me my flu jab, took my blood pressure (110/80 I think which I'm told is good) and sent me off to have my blood harvested and tested to see where my cholesterol is at these days*; but the dentist...
Internets, it looks like I'm getting braces.
This is a strange thing to say as a 26 year old grown up person.
Obviously I'm not hugely dentally deformed or this would have happened years ago, according to the dentist it is just that some of my lower teeth rest against my upper teeth in a way that will result in unnecessary wear.
I can imagine getting hooked up with the framework and I can imagine the gentle heartbreak of no popcorn for however long it takes, I can even imagine the hysterical laughter at the point when the orthodontist uses the funny thingies to hook your lips out of the way to photograph your teeth in their current incarnation thanks to having gone along when my sister was having her braces put on... and being the person who was laughing at her...
She's been waiting for this for years apparently, she and her now perfect teeth have been enjoying this idea so much she's been unable to put them away since she heard.
I haven't had the orthodontist appointment yet so I have no idea what exactly it is they're planning to alter or where all my teeth are supposed to end up.
All I know is the whole time I have them I will be pretending to be Jaws out of James Bond and will probably be enjoying it a hell of a lot more than I should do.
A lot more than I would have ten years ago certainly.
Chomp Chomp Chomp!
*I've never had a cholesterol problem but my family has a history of heart disease so I'm starting the monitoring process early because I'm not going to take that kind of insubordination from within my own body, no sir.