That Old Familiar Song

Ricochet?

Er, yes Always Slightly Accusatory Voice That I Hear Inside My Head?

Remember that talk we had?

Er, which one? We have so many.

The one about the short term relief of wussing out versus the long term benefits of following through on doing things that you've always wanted to do?

Oh, yeah. That one.

You're having a panic attack, aren't you?

It's hard to say...

You're having a panic attack about being abroad by yourself.

Well it's somewhat perilous being a broad by yourself.

None of your smart mouth.

But it's the only one I've got...

You're getting all nervy about being overseas by yourself even though you love travelling and this way you won't have anyone whining when you want to spend an entire day in a museum or being whimsical and giving yourself airs in a particularly fancy lookin' café.

I do like doing that...

So you're going to stop moaning about only having two weeks to get ready, remember that you've already got your ticket, your passport and at least a week's worth of clean underwear and open a can of harden the eff up.

Hey now, steady on Always Slightly Accusatory Voice That I Hear Inside My Head! No need for strong language! They don't appreciate that kind of thing on the internets!

But you get my point?

Yes, Always Slightly Accusatory Voice That I Hear Inside My Head, I get your point.

Excellent. Then I think we're done here.

Good.

See you tomorrow morning when you don't want to get up for work then?

Yeah, see you then.

The Cat Piano

The Cat Piano from PRA on Vimeo.

Smoke, shadows, jazz and the sultry sounds of Nick Cave.

Sure this is a cheat post but it's a beautiful cheat post!

Ambivalence And Rejection: A Modern Finance Story

This week I did something I really didn't want to do.

I applied for a credit card.

Not because I'm out of money but because I'm going overseas soon and I'll need it.
Apparently hotels aren't willing to accept bookings or take it on the honour system that you aren't planning to wreck up the place or leave little 'gifts' behind the ventilation panels without some way of chasing you up if you don't turn up/do and they wish you hadn't.

I've never wanted a credit card, I hate the idea.
I don't like owing people money, I don't like complications and I don't like filling out forms.
But I had to.
So I did.

And I was knocked back.

I was knocked back for a credit card based on 20 or so questions on an initial form on their website.

I was stunned.

I'm in a secure full time job.
I am responsible with money.
I have savings which prove that not only am I responsible with money now I've been responsible with money for a long time.
But apparently I do not fall within their current parameters for approval.

So I rang them up and I asked them in polite, measured, mature tones what the dealio was.

It seems they've tightened their approval policy up of late* and all the little points my answers warranted didn't add up to enough to get me through the door with this particular provider.
I asked if there was anything on my application that had disadvantaged me.
The guy sort of danced around the subject but from what I could tell it was because I'd only been working in my steady full time job for 2.5 years and had only been renting my well-maintained flat for the same amount of time.
That and possibly my age.
Oh and my marital status is single.

Yep.
I'm a single girl in her twenties.
I must be crazy with the monies.
Any minute now I'm going to get onto the internets and buy a llama on eBay because it was for cheaps and I can't resist a sale.

The thing that really grated was that this same provider had given my now 19.5 year old sister a card almost without waiting for a signature only 1.5 years earlier when she was in part time work and 18!

I know we don't want to just throw credit cards at people like they're candy but I'm one of the few people I know who I'd actually trust to manage one of these things.

And when I don't want to do something and then somebody tells me I can't do it... well dammit who are they to tell me that I can't have that thing I don't want!

I've applied for another dang one through my bank this time and in about a week I'll find out whether I get one or not** and when/if I receive it I will be able to hold it on high with a strange mingled feeling of victory/satisfaction/dread/resignation!

At least I'll be able to book my own concert tickets then.
Every time I ask Mum if I can use her card to book a ticket she wants to know all about the band and inevitably she ends up comparing them to Dethklok.
According to Mum all metal bands sound like Dethklok.
Who she thinks are cute.
I love my Mum.



*Gee I wonder why *coff global economic crisis coff*
**If my own bank knocks me back I will be so very cranky.

Summertime

We're only friends in the summertime.
When the evening light is soft and a cold drink tastes as it never does any other time of the year.
Then the words flow and the memories are made and the nights last until the morning.
When the seasons turn and the cold creeps in, silence begins to outweigh speech.
In the dark months when the outside is too cold for you and the indoors too close to share.
We're only friends in the summertime.
And I miss you the rest of the year.
But not as much as you might think.