Friday, 7 January 2011

An Opportunity Unparalleled

It's the seventh day of January.

And hot cross buns were on the shelves of the supermarket four days ago.

Easter isn't until almost May this year and yet there are chocolate eggs and bunnies and little lolly chickens taking up a modest amount of space in the confectionery aisle.

I can't remember if this has been a slow process, things creeping onto the shelves a couple of days, a couple of weeks, a couple of months earlier each year before Easter and Christmas.

I'm guessing it isn't as bad in North America at least for Christmas because they have Thanksgiving and Halloween beforehand to keep the yuletide items from appearing too early.

All around me people are bemoaning the greed of corporations or businesses that try to cash in on offering seasonal or niche treats for longer periods of time knowing that people are more likely to give in to nostalgia or temptation but all I can think of is how easy it would be to use this state of affairs to prank a kid.

No really.

The whole situation must confuse the hell out of kids with their tenuous grasp on the nature of time.

They see Easter or Christmas treats on the shelves and they assume Easter or Christmas must be soon and all over the place parents are forced to explain over and over again that there are months to go until then and have to endure tears and requests for eggs, buns, candy canes or marshmallow Santas until the season finally arrives.

Wouldn't it be more fun to run into a kid's room one morning and shake them awake and begin a ruse that would probably scar them for life?

"Bobby! Bobby wake up! Bobby we slept too long!"

"Wuh, what? What's going on!?"

"Bobby, we ate too much at Christmas and our bodies thought we were trying to hibernate like bears and we slept all the way through January, through February, through March and into April!"


"It's Easter Bobby! You've missed over 3 months of school! I've missed over 3 months of work! Your father and I have probably been fired from our jobs... but look! Easter eggs!"


You've got to admit, it'd be pretty awesome.

The kid staring in fear and confusion at the people still on their Christmas holiday, taking your word for it that they're on their Easter break.

The kid boggling at the walls of chocolate eggs and Easter accessories on display in all the shops.

Sure, they'd probably need years of counselling afterward but you know what?

It'd be worth it.

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