Sunday, 6 March 2016

Not A Marketing Ploy In Every Case, It Seems

Just in case anyone is wondering, when you tentatively try some bubblegum tape that is two years past its Best Before date because ‘it might still be good’, it will not be.

Instead of breaking apart from its dry form into chunks that swiftly adhere to each other and become chewable gum, it turns into a crystalline powder that sogs together at the bottom of your mouth, not solid enough to chew at all and tasting strongly of chemicals that will then need to be spat out into a tissue or napkin and thrown in the bin.

If you will learn from my folly you will:

  • not try this 
  • not try this at work 
  • not try this at work and then have to carry a napkin full of bright purple crystal slurry across the office to the communal bin because you got rid of your personal bin for the good of the environment* 
  • have a cup of tea instead because that’s what I ended up having to do to wash the taste out of my mouth and to comfort myself over the needless waste of a roll of bubblegum tape that I didn’t get around to finishing within its Best Before date because I am obviously no longer capable of getting my RDI of groovy grape bubblegum tape and/or have lost my joie de vivre or whatever. I still have an Easter bunny from last Easter in my fridge. Younger me would be horrified and more than a little disappointed in present me right now I think :-/

*I got rid of the bin next to my desk because every single time the cleaner came through she would empty the bin and give it a new plastic liner.
Considering I have never even come close to filling that bin, never with food matter that will go wrong if it isn't carried away in a timely fashion, and will swear before the courts and God that she on more than one occasion 'emptied' an empty bin and gave me a new bin liner... it was the only decision I could make to stay sane.

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