Showing posts with label post-apocalyptic society. Show all posts
Showing posts with label post-apocalyptic society. Show all posts

Saturday, 26 April 2014

Wait, How Do You... Everything?

From the things I post you would probably think I spend an inordinate amount of time thinking about the collapse of society.

I don't really, it's just very interesting, much more interesting than the complex and ultimately impractical structures and devices I design when I'm bored.

Anyway, the collapse of society!

So, society has collapsed!

The EMP has knocked out all our technology or the zombies have sent us into a panic or a disease has wiped out 70% of the Earth's population or I guess aliens?

The point is shit has gotten real.
No-one is manning the power stations.
The chain of supply has been interrupted.
We're on our own.

Shit!
OK!
No!
Keep calm!
Right!
What first!?
We have to be smart about this!

Shelter!
Water!
Food!
Medicine!
Clothes!
Furniture!

I guess loot it?

No!
Shit!
Everyone else is looting it!
And even if we do manage to loot it, it'll eventually run out!
Crap!
OK, uh...

How do you grow your own food?
How do you preserve that food?
How do you make your own materials?
How do you make your own clothes?
How do you build your own house? One that doesn't rely on all the shit we don't have any more to function properly!
How do you source safe drinking water?
Does anyone know how to make penicillin?

Nope.

And there's no electricity because the zombies ate all the power plant dudes or the tech is all fried because of the EMP aliens, so we can't check the internet.

TO THE LIBRARY!

Fuck!
Everyone else got here first!
Some people cleared out all the reference books and some people wanted to burn the fiction section to stay warm in winter and then there was a big fuck off battle between the cultureless weenies and the booklovers!
Crap!

If only I had compiled a survival library before this happened!
Survival for Dummies!

Wait!
Society hasn't collapsed yet!
It's not too late to squirrel away a reference library of helpful instructional tomes to keep you and yours alive in the challenging years to come!

Look!










OK, they probably don't have 'How to make Penicillin for Dummies' but that's where you have to branch out and get books like this!


I grabbed me up a copy of this recently and while I haven't actually got it behind glass, it is sitting there calmly reassuring me that I will have some idea of what to do should the world as we know it end*.

And while I can't say that I am putting together a 'How to Everything for Dummies' library with assorted references and instructional texts, I can't promise you I'm not.

Also this is why we should make sure that local government doesn't shut down our libraries.
We'll need them when the shit hits the fan.
But we probably shouldn't mention the zombies in our letters to our local members of parliament... People get weird about stuff like that.



*Realistically I know what I would do is panic and die or get gathered up into some hey-feudalism-so-great-let's-try-that-again! warlord's harem or something.

Saturday, 4 May 2013

Warn The Amish


There have been a tonne of new reality shows and documentaries over the last few years about the end of the world.
To complement all the books, TV shows and movies we have about the end of the world.

The ones about how the world might end.

The ones about what might happen next to the people who were left behind.

The ones about what would happen to a world that no longer had people in it.

But it's the ones about the people who are currently preparing for surviving what these other shows theorise about that is causing the conversations around the office.

One of the women I work with is mad obsessed with Doomsday Preppers.
It isn't the most balanced of shows, they love to hunt out the more extreme examples of the prepping movement and put them through their paces.
I'm honestly a bit impressed at home some people have managed to get their entire families or portions of their communties on board.
Worried in a few cases but impressed.

Anyway all of these prepping programs have left her with what she thinks of as a foolproof plan for surviving in the post-apocalyptic world.

Go throw your lot in with the Amish.

Because they know how to make their own furniture and buildings, can sew their own crops and raise their own animals, and know how to do a tonne of things from scratch.

Um.

OK.

There are a few problems with that.

First of which, in your case, is that you are currently in Australia.

The Amish famously live in America.

If the world ends I doubt it will be at a pace that will allow you to fly to the States.
Even if you can they may not let you in, please see 'end of the world' for an idea of why they might tighten their border controls.

But OK, let's assume you were already in America, having a lovely roadtrip with your family, the world came to a grinding/screeching halt because EMP/zombies/global economic meltdown/aliens/mega-sunspots/contagious disease/whatever.

First of all, you have to find the Amish.

Then you'd have to convince them to take you in.

Then you'd have to fight off all the hordes of people who have had the same idea and essentially want their own serf class of stuff makers and food growers to save them.

And you may still be fighting off whatever brought about this apocalyptic scenario and what the Amish also are is not known for having a cache of modern weapons or medicines, they leave that stuff to The English.

Ideally, you should have a proper think about any skills you might want to learn that would be helpful now but could also get you out of a jam should the world go to hell in a handbasket* and have a crack at that instead.

But yeah, I think someone should warn the Amish that it's entirely possible that car loads of panicked weirdoes might be turning up on their lawn any time there is a meteor shower, a prolonged blackout, a particularly weird animal attack, or someone thinks a movie is the news.

I don't want to do it.

I don't want to have to see the pained look in their eyes when they are informed of the existence of 'reality' TV.

But a heads up would probably be a good idea.



*gardening, first aid, preserving, sewing etc.

Saturday, 1 March 2008

The Children Are The Future... Poor Little Bastards...

Is it just me or has there not really been any planning towards what we're going to do when we run out of fossil fuels?

Everyone keeps saying we're frittering away the resources we have access to and we're heading towards the bottom of the 'tank' but I don't really remember seeing much in the way of big ideas.

Of course this could be because I'm not paying vast quantities of attention - I'm enjoying the denial as much as the next person and am easily distracted by shiny things and bright colours - or because any time anyone seriously talks about wind farming or solar power a part of a lot of us puts up the 'hippie talk' sign and walks away for a beer or wonders exactly how we're supposed to implement any of those sorts of system world-wide. Or even nation wide.

I guess the answer could end up being 'we won't have any choice'.

I figure for starters the price of power and fuel will climb in a steady and severely society screwing manner in the lead up until 'uh ohs' day until only the mega-rich can afford to drive cars, power their houses, travel internationally at any kind of speed and... well, eat.

No power = no mass production of food, no way to move it about easily.
No communication = not knowing where to find the food in the stages when it's still abundant.
We're kind of low on horses and high on people compared to the old days so we probably won't easily rig up horse-drawn carts.
Sure, we could breed the population up again but we probably won't get that far.
We'll probably get hungry and eat them.
And other domesticated animals.
And each other...

Whether or not we do go a bit carnivore happy, we'll have to remember which plants are edible. All of us, not just the people who used to put them all in the shops on our behalf.
This may be a bit difficult when we've burnt all the books for heat during the winter months, at least in the northern hemisphere countries. The southern hemisphere will probably be the only place where libraries survive, not that we'll be able to share the knowledge with our northern brethren without the interwub or telephones. We might still have access to morse code or something but who knows. I'm not a technologically aware person, I don't even know if the wires necessary still exist and they probably don't stretch all the way to Europe or the northern hemisphere. If we still have any electricity at all we can't guarantee it'll be used for such things. I mean who would ensure that it was?
Who is going to be in charge?

Without easy communication and all the lovely confusion and the whole being small number of meals away from anarchy how will the kind of people who would actually implement useful solutions get into a position of power?
How far would the influence of the lucky few stretch?
The scientists and other clever clogs who could offer us solutions that would work with the resources and materials we have left might not be able to get their ideas out into the world.
They might not even try.
The people with the scientific, medical, organisational know-how who do so well and so much good work in the society of today may not have the inclination or the courage to try to do the same in the violent and dangerous 'renovator's dream' society that will follow.
Can you imagine what would happen to a doctor who let his previous profession be known in a society with poor nutrition, more than likely woeful sanitary arrangements and no way of producing more medications or surgical implements?
They would be mobbed for starters and could end up chained in a makeshift clinic to ensure they didn't try to get away.
You'd just claim to be an accountant, wouldn't you.

Let's not even think too hard about what might happen with the various military forces across the world.
Countries who prided themselves on bringing down dictators may end up producing some of the most merciless despots the world has ever known, either through finally having the opportunity or because they claim it's 'for the best' or 'just until the country/continent/world gets back on it's feet'.
The hardest thing some people will have to face is that in a situation like that it may be the most stable option.

Ironically some of the poorest people in the world may end up fairing better than their richer cousins as they still have some knowledge of how to produce or find their own food - out of a necessity that has never left them.

If you do manage to set yourself up with a garden, clean water and easy or occasional access to meat you'd better be prepared to protect yourself from roving packs of less fortunate or less resourceful people.

OK, OK I'm not painting a very rosy picture. You're probably getting a bit depressed.
Look, here...


There we go.
Better?
Now you're either completely overcome with a case of the 'awwwwwwwwwwwwww!'s or ranting about people who put clothing items on animals.
Either way the cat has achieved its mission.

Maybe when everything goes to hell in a hand-basket we'll discover a new strength and there will be a resurgence of the human spirit*.
Maybe as our old ways are lost to us the planet will begin to heal and we'll be able to deeply appreciate that as we come to depend quite directly on what we can cultivate ourselves**.
Maybe when we all have to work every day for our survival and comfort and go back to the bare minimum way of living things will improve in some strange ways***.
Maybe.

Of course a lot of us will die in the interim and it'll be especially interesting to see what happens when the containment units around nuclear power facilities switch themselves off but what're you going to do?

Wouldn't hurt to make your weekend reading a little more purposeful is all I'm saying...

Still feeling a bit down?

Look! It's a pug in a onesie!


[Makes a break for it]


*whatever that is
**and remember that things like scurvy are bad and where we can find vitamins when they aren't in pill form
***there certainly won't be the same opportunities to be bored


Animals in people gear courtesy of Cute Overload.