Tuesday, 10 April 2007

Togas - The Garb Of Champions

"Oh Lady Justice, I come to you to plead my case..."

The great lady starts as the voice breaks her chain of thought and she tries to peek under her blindfold. "Who said that?

"I am but a humble petitioner, my lady..."

How embarrassing, her gown has slipped from one shoulder and her breast is exposed. There's no way she can expect any respect from this man if she's standing there with her dumpling on display. She can't put down the sword and the scales, what with this damn blindfold she'd never find the things again. "Do tell,"

"Lady Justice, I have been greatly wronged and do beg your impartial judgement on my behalf,"

"Yes, yes. Go on," Maybe if she shrugged like this and swung her arm like this she could get the sleeve back onto her shoulder. It's all a matter of balance after all, as long as she doesn't tip the scales it should work.

There is a resonant Donnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnng! and then a thump in the darkness in front of her. The lady, resettling her dress without the aid of her hands doesn't notice the silence for a moment.

"Yes? You were going to tell me a story? Hello?"

She hears a groan, a sort of scrambling sound and the man speaks again. "Ah, yes, gentle lady. I come to beg your protection and aid, as I have been wronged and those who have wronged me must know your wrath..."

Crap, now the other side of the dress has gone. Why on earth did she choose such a bloody flimsy garment anyway? It's not as if it makes her look good and the slightest little breeze and out pops a boob. Ok, she did it with the other sleeve she can do it with this one. Just shrug a little, swing the arm forward at shoulder height like this...

There is a soggy sound as something bounces away down the stairs that leads to her dais, followed by the sound of something larger tumbling down after it.

Now that her dress is on properly she can finally concentrate.

"OK, sorry about that but I'm all good now. You were saying? Hello? Hello?"

No-one answers. Oh well, he seems to be gone. Whatever.

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