Saturday, 27 June 2009

Ricochet's Four Step Plan To Greater Happiness

Step One. Have a pair of pants with shitty, useless, shallow pockets.

Step Two.
Put a dollar coin* in one of your shitty, useless, shallow pockets.

Step Three. Sit down or change position so that the dollar falls out of your pocket.

Step Four. Relish the feeling of joy that floods through you as you spot it and think "Hey! A dollar!"

OK, so eventually you will probably lose the dollar but the inordinate amount of pleasure you take from 'finding' that dollar even once before then far outweighs the small disappointment that comes from losing it.
And hey, if you lose it in your house or workplace or car possibly you'll get to find it again!

As a matter of integrity I have been trialling this system for the last week in order to ensure that it offers you all the happiness promised.

The first time was an accident.
I put my dollar change in my pocket of my stupid workpants** purely because I couldn't be bothered putting it in my wallet and later that day next to my feet - "Hey! A dollar!"
I picked it up and put it back in my pocket.
A few hours later - "Hey! A dollar!"
I picked it up, I thought about it, I put it back in my pocket.
And it just doesn't get old!

There is something awesome about finding a dollar that doesn't diminish with age or fiscal inflation.
All the amazement and glee you felt at the age of seven when you found a gold coin are still with you today.
It doesn't even matter that it is already your dollar, the magic still works!

I lost the original dollar two days ago, didn't even notice, and then today on the seat of my armchair - "Hey! A dollar!"

Give it a try, I guarantee that it'll cheer you up or your money back***.

*Or a pound coin, a euro coin, a quarter, whatever is appropriate**** for you.
**Who the hell designs the pockets in womens' pants anyway? Why don't they think that ladies want to keep things in their pockets too? I've taken to buying mens' jeans so that I can fit my wallet in my pocket. Also they last forever. For. Ev. Er.
***As long as you dropped it somewhere close by
****I know a quarter isn't as exciting as a dollar in some ways but it has to be a coin and they are the absolute perfect size for flicking across the back of your knuckles and I'm sure they were pretty cool to find as a child too.

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