Behold the signs of the apocalypse!
The scent of summer is in the air despite the fact we've not even officially left winter yet!
People who spell death defying as 'defdethying' because they've heard the term used in context but never stopped to actually consider what the word means let alone how it is spelled have not been struck by lightning!
And my junkmail has decided that my name is Norma!
It seems that Norma is missing out on a lot of opportunities.
She could be taking any number of courses right now: CSI technician, law enforcement, big city law, mortician...
She could be having her home loan consolidated, her finances rejiggered, her chakras realigned and - in the most gender ambiguous offer - TNT campanulate added to her rocket!
Ever since the anonymous spambot sold my details to the ad-superteam's list my junkmail has more than tripled and yet I can't get mad about it.
I've become quite attached to Norma.
I see her as a slightly flaky Lara Croft wannabe trying to cram as many experiences into her life as humanly possible without being overburdened with too much judgement or concerns about quality control.
In another reality Norma is a lab savvy law enforcement officer who routinely takes time off from lecturing at Harvord* University to travel clandestinely to Nigeria and rescue stranded princesses.
Depending on her preferences she may even have an opportunity to test out the TNT campanulate of her rocket.
And you know what, good on her, the world needs more people like that.
Hopefully the next time some crazy improbable opportunity comes up Norma will give me the courage to at least consider it and my life will be in some small way enriched.
But still you really shouldn't give your bank details to the European Lottery Commission, there are other people who need that money more than you do...
*Yes that is deliberate, guess where Norma was recently accepted to university!?