I should be sorry I expect.
I should be gripped with remorse and wishing that things had been other than they are and seeing everything through a rosy glow of nostalgia-tinted grief.
Suffused with compassion, understanding and knowing that whilst things couldn't have been any other way, there were reasons for why they turned out as they did.
But I always knew that you would die this way.
And to be completely honest I'm glad you did.
You had it coming.
I know the odds of your last thought being that I was right are slim but as I look down at your cold body, limbs akimbo, I get to think it.
I don't look for too long of course, that would look unprofessional.
I wish you could see me as I move, smooth, efficient, practiced, as I dust for fingerprints, pluck fibres from fibres and catalogue the tableau of your end.
I'm very good at my job and I always do my best, even for you.
I'd like to think you'd appreciate this but going on previous experiences I won't hold my breath on that count.
They don't know that I knew you.
If they did I would be taken off the case, bundled off to see a city appointed psychologist and treated with care and caution until they were sure I was 'fit for duty'.
But instead here I am, sifting through your worldly belongings for some clue as to who killed you.
I already know why.
And so, I'm sure, did you.
I'm going to find out who did this.
Not for you, you ungrateful shit.
I'm doing it for the science.
I'm very good at my job.
Even when I don't want to be.