Unhelpful Uncle

At a family gathering yesterday a few different people seemed to have things to say about our upcoming trip to Nepal.

One aunt was chatting away about a story she'd read in a weekend paper supplement about a guy who had spent a few months trekking around in the mountains of Nepal and who then had to spend 6 weeks in hospital recovering after he got home.

That was OK, we're not planning to be as high for as long or to push it like that fellow.

Then my uncle decided to chime in.
"I have to tell you that a woman I used to work with went and did this trek with a Canadian girl and the Canadian girl never made it back.
She died of Mountain Sickness.
They got her back to the Kathmandu hospital whilst she was still alive but she didn't pull through."

'I didn't need to hear that' I thought.

"Of course, she'd been having breathing difficulties for a while. Sounding all bubbly and wheezy.
But she kept saying 'it was only a little bit further' and refused to turn back.
And she was drinking alcohol the whole time.
And this was 20 years ago."

Thanks, unhelpful uncle.
So not only did she get Mountain Sickness (which I will forever hear in a 'Tales of Interest!' from Futurama voice) because she went against specific medical advice after experiencing symptoms of difficulty, she was drinking and not getting adequate rest or hydration etc.
And as it was 20 years ago they probably knew less about altitude sickness and if she was even part of a guided tour they probably weren't as rigorous about safety and First Aid Training and their guides (assuming they had any) won't have been trained in monitoring and treating the symptoms of altitude sickness and definitely won't have been carrying an inflatable decompression chamber.

So thanks for amping up the idea that I might die of 'Mountain Sickness!' for no reason :-/

Things I'd Like To Have In My House But Possibly Never Will Because I'm Mental

Folding Screens

There could be monsters behind there.

YES, I KNOW I'M AN ADULT!

OK, fine, axe murderers. There could be an axe murderer hiding behind it.



Coat Racks

It looks good, right?

Functional, a bit classy if you buy the right one.

But if I walk through a darkened room that contains a coat rack, just about every time my brain will go 'shadowy spindly shape in the corner = intruder/alien' and completely flip out.

Sure the panic will last for a split second until my memory kicks in with 'durr, it's your coat rack' but a split second of terror every night for the rest of my life?

That has to have ramifications for you health.


Basements

Ahhhhhhh! OK, to be fair it would probably look more like this...

But basements are where they keep you until the neighbours stop asking where you've gone.

We all know this.


Anything Really Antique

It looks lovely until the vengeful spirit of its original owner leaves you torn to shreds and draped around your own house like bunting at a macabre jubilee!


Shower Curtains*

Not only do they suddenly try to cling all over you like a teenage boy at a school dance if you get too close to them during a hot shower on a cold day, we also know that shower curtains are only good for two thing...

1. Giving psychopaths a place to hide
2. Being stabbed through.

Ahem.

I know I'm not really going to be torn apart by vengeful spirits or eaten by monsters or murdered by a shadowy figure with an axe** but I have a truly overactive imagination and a 'you never know' attitude towards superstitions and the unexplained***.

I probably will get a coat rack and a folding screen one day, dunno about antiques, and I probably won't even have to think about a basement.
I know basements are handy for storage and for hiding during Cold Wars but in Australia we've never really gone in for basements in a big way, they're not that common.



*This addition care of Erin Palette who reminded me of the existence of these menaces!

**Fingers crossed!

***And the rock-solid belief that if you say something won't happen to you and are all smug about it that you're just about daring the universe to make it happen.

One Giant Leap For Me-Kind...

This week I bought a nanna cart.

A nanna cart?

Oh you know, one of the things that look like this...


I don't know if they have a real name, give me a break!

I bought it because the other day I was down at the supermarket and I saw a woman put her one bag of shopping into her car, get in, drive 100 m to the other supermarket, park and go in to complete her shopping.
20 minutes later when I was exiting the butcher down the street I saw that she had driven the 300 m from the second supermarket to the post office.

I was aghast.

And I'm not saying that for comedic effect or because I think people don't use the word aghast enough these days, I was genuinely stunned and more than a little perturbed.

I know I habitually describe myself as lazy but if I ever get that lazy I want you to hire somebody to put a pillow over my face as I sleep.

It would be a mercy killing.

I'll leave a note absolving you of any wrong-doing.

I live 10 minutes walk from the supermarket and various shops and with the power of this recent invention - the wheel - I can now walk there and back even when I do a big shop or one that involves an ungodly amount of cans/bottles/acme 100 lb weights.

I know I don't walk as much as I used to.

Before I had no holds barred access to a car I'd walk 30 minutes into town to meet my friends, bike 20 minutes to visit somebody, walk an hour into Uni because I had nothing else to do before class or just do laps around the local lake for funsies.

Without going to the extreme of suggesting my car is trying to kill me - yet - I think it's time the two of us started to spend a bit more time apart.

I'm taking back my perambulatory prerogative!

Under Pressure

You ever feel the weight of responsibility pressing down upon you?

That terrible feeling of accountability and the fear of failure?

The careful balance between doing too little or too much?

Knowing that if you mess things up it will be visible and real and you will have to deal with it?

I'm there right now.

But soon it'll be over and I will be able to put it all behind me.

Because tomorrow my workmate comes back from their holiday, their bloody potplants are still alive and they better damn well still be that way tomorrow morning.

God help them if they ever ask me to mind their children.