Sunday, 13 December 2009

The Ratio Of Birds To Stones

I am going to open a day spa.

The treatments offered will consist entirely of the client throwing a rope toy for a dog - or therapist, if you will - over and over again in a muddy field.

As the mud and the dog dribble coat their hands they will find that the moisturising effect of the all natural earth supplements and butt-enhanced mouth enzymes will greatly improve the elasticity of their skin.

Various grades of gravel can be added to the muddy field to achieve an exfoliating effect.

A scented wash will be available to complete the treatment and is best applied via the medium of soaping it into the dog's coat and washing it out along with the residual exfoliating supplements.

The natural oils in the dog's fur and the massaging effect of the hairs will gently coax the best possible outcome from the clients' skin.

Tell all your friends.

Incidentally I'm also opening a dog care and grooming service around the corner.

For a quite reasonable price I can promise that your dog is exercised, washed and pampered and returned to you bright eyed and bushy tailed...

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